The Cost of Silence: Why Families Don’t Report Fraud

When families discover that an eldercare provider has lied, overbilled, is unlicensed, lacks insurance, placed an unqualified person in a position of responsibility, or endangered their loved one in some other way, the natural reaction should be to report it. Yet, far too often, silence wins. Fraudulent agencies and facilities depend on that silence. They count on families being too frightened, too overwhelmed, to financially strapped, or too ashamed to fight back.

The cost of silence is devastating. It allows bad actors to keep operating, exposes more elders to harm, and leaves families with financial and emotional scars. To stop this cycle, we first have to understand why so many families stay quiet.

1. Fear of Retaliation

Families worry that if they complain, the facility or agency will take it out on their loved one. They picture subtle retaliation, skipped medications, cold treatment, or slower response times. In some cases, those fears are well-founded. Some families simply don’t have the resources to move their loved one so they hope that if they become more involved and stay silent, the abuse will end.

Families in small or insular communities worry that complaining may lead to ostracization. We have seen this in religious based facilities or home care agencies where complaining about the treatment of a loved one or questions about licensing, insurance, or case has resulted in families being shunned by their religious “home.” This can be especially devastating for religious families who suffer both the abuse of their loved one and the betrayal of their religious community.

What ETA says: No elder should ever suffer because a family speaks up. Reporting fraud protects not only your loved one but also others in the same facility. ETA is working to build safe channels where families can share information without fear of exposure.

2. Shame and Embarrassment

Many families feel tricked. They blame themselves for trusting the wrong provider or for not asking enough questions. Scam operators know this, they rely on the fact that families would rather “move on quietly” than admit they were deceived.

What ETA says: Fraud is designed to fool smart, capable people. You are not to blame. The shame belongs to those who lie and exploit. Sharing your story turns shame into power.

3. Confusion About Where to Report

The eldercare system in New York is fragmented. Should you call the Department of Health? The Attorney General’s office? Medicare? The police? With so many agencies and overlapping responsibilities, families often give up before they even start.

When people do file an initial report with an agency, the complaints are routinely ignored. Not because the agency doesn’t care, but because the system is so broken, a complaint may not be reviewed or acted on for months or even years.

What ETA says: We will point you to the right place. Through our blog and resources, we will break down exactly how and where to report fraud. One phone call or online form can start the process, if it’s to the correct party. Additionally, ETA is working with state and local authorities to create a “fast track” way to report unlicensed eldercare operators and care providers.

4. Emotional and Physical Exhaustion

Caring for an elderly loved one is already exhausting. Add betrayal, financial loss, or medical harm, and families are overwhelmed. Fighting a system that feels rigged against them is often too much to bear.

What ETA says: That is exactly why organizations like ETA exist. Families should not have to fight alone. Reporting to us means adding your voice to a larger movement and letting us carry some of that burden.

5. Belief That Nothing Will Change

Perhaps the most damaging reason is cynicism. Families tell themselves: “Even if I report, nothing will happen.” And sometimes, they’re right. Regulators are stretched thin, cases move slowly, and bad operators reopen under new names.

What ETA says: Alone, one report may not feel powerful. Together, hundreds of reports build undeniable proof. ETA’s mission is to amplify those voices and make sure lawmakers, regulators, and the media cannot ignore them.

The True Cost of Silence

When families don’t report:

• Fraudulent providers stay in business.

• Other families walk into the same trap.

• Lawmakers and regulators underestimate the scope of the problem.

• Elders continue to be neglected, abused, or financially exploited.

• The silence of one family becomes the suffering of many.

Breaking the Silence

ETA exists to make reporting safe, simple, and powerful. You don’t have to stand alone. Whether you’re dealing with an unlicensed agency, a fraudulent nursing home, or billing fraud under Medicaid and Medicare, your voice matters.

Fraud in eldercare thrives in the shadows. Shining a light starts with speaking up.

If you’ve been misled, exploited, or harmed by an eldercare provider, report it. Tell ETA your story. Together, we can turn silence into action.